2 stars (out of 5)
By R. Kurt Osenlund
Odds are John Singleton doesn't know he's made one of the funniest films of the year. Extravagantly clueless in all its conspiracy-theory camp, "Abduction" swiftly morphs from your average teen-heartthrob vehicle into the most egregious source of unintentional gut-busters this side of Forks, Washington. Out of context, it's hard to convey the full, howling hilarity of so many numskull lines, as most don't come to full blossom without logic-defying, stone-faced delivery from the actors and Singleton's steadfast perpetuation of a tone that borders on slapstick. But know that this baby is a machine of quotability, a good one to catch if you and your friends like injecting gleefully horrendous movie dialogue into daily life.